Slow Me Down


I awoke. I was lying in the middle of a grassy field; everything beyond the horizon was white, even the sky. My vision panned from my eyes to the third person. My body was small, fragile. The grass gently brushed my white dress and my younger self sat up from her sleeping position. I gasped in excitement as my eyes lay upon my family’s big summer home out in the country.

I stood and ran, ran as fast as I could. I smelled my mother’s cooking; it was a smell I missed a lot. I was ecstatic. Nothing could have made me feel more happiness then seeing my mother and father waiting for me on the front steps. My oldest and younger brothers were playing ninja in the grass and my baby brother was asleep in my mom’s arms. No one would have thought something bad would happen to us…

Why was it us?

--

I opened my eyes, but this time there was no vast field or white sky. Instead I found Kakuzu asleep, with his arms wrapped around me… My cheeks flushed for they same odd reason they always did. He was keeping me warm… He was so kind. I knew I was falling for him, I couldn’t deny it any longer. I felt like I wanted to be with him… forever.

Could it be that I’m falling in love with my family’s killer? The one I swore on their grave I’d kill? …Though I didn’t like the answer I had to admit it was a big fat ‘yes’. I thought of him as beautiful, though I’ve never seen his face. I feel warm around him, even though he pushes me away. And I can’t help but think of him as kind, despite the fact he’s constantly threatening me.

I loved all of it.

He was the reason I lived, the reason I carried on my miserable existence. Whether it was spiteful or not Kakuzu had given me a reason to live!

“Thank you… Kakuzu.” I couldn’t’ help but smile as I said this. Surprisingly that didn’t wake him. He seemed to be a light sleeper. Only when I kissed cheek did he seem to stir. His eyes opened quickly. Wide, green and beautiful. He seemed to be in shock that I was still there, that I hadn’t left. “Hello there…” I whispered softly.

He flinched. “Mo-morning…” Kakuzu confirmed his nervousness with his shaky voice. “You’re still here… with me?”

“Yeah. Why wouldn’t I be?” I made sure to keep my smile sweet and voice sincere.

Kakuzu looked down in a way that made me feel his every last worry. “Because you hate me…”

I frowned and pushed myself out of his grip. I stood and – tying my hair back – I fell on one finger and began my morning push-ups. “Well… I never said it to your face.” I sighed. “And I woke up in such a good mood… You just have to ask questions.”

“Well god damn it, what do you want me to do!?” Kakuzu shouted and clutching his head in a confused manner. “You were never in a good mood ‘till now! How am I supposed to know what to do, huh?!”

I stopped mid-push-up and looked at him. He was flustered; I couldn’t deny that that wasn’t my fault. I usually was kind of a bitch to him. “It’s time to change that, okay?” I said, crouching down next to him and cupped his face in my hand. “I promise from this moment forth I will do my best to keep the tension low between us.”

“And what if you break this promise?” He asked, a questionable look rested upon his usually calm face.

“I’ll let you decided my punishment. Does that work for you Kakuzu-kun?” I smiled.

He took me in his arms and whispered. “I love you Sayu.”

There was near silence in the empty field we stood in. The only sound was of the wind rustling through the leaves of the one tree that we had rested under. It almost seemed as if our hearts were beating in sync with the silence.

Had I heard him right? This had to be some sort of cruel joke.

“I love you Sayu… so much.” Kakuzu said so quietly I could hardly hear him, his breath was heavy and uneven. Something began to bleed through the cloth of my shirt. Tears? Was he crying? And as if to answer my question he raised his head, revealing his tear stained cheeks. “Why I left you alive all those years ago… I always struggled to find an answer, but… I guess you can thank your mother.

“She begged me to let you live, if no one else… I didn’t even consider it at first, but then I saw you. Your fearful green eyes, your glowing skin. Though you were young, not yet even ten, my hearts craved you. I told you to live on like you do in hopes I’d get the chance to see you again. But the depression of the memories I withheld and the thoughts of you dying to obtain this goal of seeking revenge… it was too much. Now, being so close, the happiness is just washing it all away…

“I’ve learned now that no matter how much I love you, I have to learn to let you go… You are still so young.” He straightened up, towering over me. “How could you ever love a decrepit old man like me…?” Kakuzu turned away, preparing to leave once more. This time it would be forever. I couldn’t bare it. I caught his cloak, stopping him. He turned around as I stood still. “Sayu I-” I placed my finger over his covered lips and claimed his with my own.

“Never leave me again…” I whispered through the kiss, my first kiss. Pathetic isn’t it.

I looked up into his gorgeous eyes, they were… scared. ‘Please don’t be afraid of me Kakuzu…’ I thought and placed his arms around my waist. He raised them to my back, hugging me. Closing his eyes he nuzzled my neck with his still masked mouth. “Never again…” He answered back, bare skin touching my neck. Kakuzu had taken his mask off! And I wanted to see it!

Setting my plan into motion, I bit his neck. He moaned softly. I barely heard it, but I did all the same. Then I kissed his neck a few times before licking it. “Sayu-chan…” I loved the sound of him saying my name.

“Kakuzu… I want to see your face.” I commanded. I think we were both surprised by the aggressive tone of my voice. I didn’t really mean for it to sound like that, but I wanted to see what he fucking looked like, damn it!

He gently kissed my neck before pulling back. His face was so beautiful! I know, call me crazy, but he is! For some reason I found the stitches coming from the sides of his mouth really attractive. I kissed his mouth.

Kakuzu jumped as if he was surprised, not even noticing I had unbuttoned his cloak. “This is how I can love a man like you, Kakuzu.” I took my lips away from his, though he was still tasting them. “Age doesn’t matter when two people love each other.” My lips curled into an innocent smile before his smiled as well and rested his forehead on mine.

“Heh… you’re so cute.” His smiled then turned serious. “The truth is I was incredibly doubtful of myself… I mean look at me. I’m a freak show!”

I shook my head. “Kakuzu, different people have different tastes. I like you just the way you are because of what sets you apart from normal men.”

“Sayu-” Kakuzu began but I cut him off with a quick kiss.

“Kakuzu, this is going to sound incredibly cheesy, but what matters most is what’s on the inside. Outer looks are just a plus.” A light blush tickled my cheeks; I tried to cover it with a clumsy smile.

Tears filled his strange eyes. “I… I don’t know why, but hearing you say that makes me so happy, yet my eyes water…” He hick-upped. “It’s been so long since I’ve cried I-I…” Kakuzu tried his best to wipe away the stream of tears that were flowing from his eyes, every drop being replaced my two more.

“Kakuzu…” I held his hands in mine. “What you’re feeling right now proves that you’re feelings are real.”

”I know, but I’m still afraid of losing you!” He pulled me close to him, his body trembled. I really couldn’t think of anything to say. He really wasn’t joking around; his feelings were so real they seemed to be hurting him.

“And I’m promising you I’ll be with you forever. You’ll never have to worry about losing me ever again…” I said breathing him in. ‘and I you… Kakuzu-kun’

He kissed me, his lips tasting salty from his tears. I kissed back, all my love put into one movement, one action.

“Hey, hey guys! I’m back from the-” Hidan stopped just under the shade of the tree, dropping the grocery bags he had been holding. “Kakuzu! How could you even THINK about touching Sayu!? She’s sacred object!”

Kakuzu stopped and smirked at Hidan. “Jealous.” He stuck out his tongue triumphantly. Hidan’s face flushed at bright pink and curled his hand into a fist.

“Suck a dick!”

I couldn’t stop myself. “But isn’t that my job?” I asked innocently. Seemingly innocent, might I add, because I definitely knew how they were going to react.

Hidan’s face became a darker red and Kakuzu’s mouth hung open. “Umm.” The two of them muttered together. Kakuzu took a few steps away from me due to the awkwardness of the situation.

I tilted my head to the side and smiled sweetly. “Hee hee.” I giggled childishly. “I’m going to go work on my back flips, ‘Kay?” I pointed my finger behind me and flipped backwards. The feel of the soft grass between my fingers and smell of the clean air was so intoxicating.

“Son of a man whore! Kakuzu you lucky son of a bitch!” Hidan swore and walked off again.

I practiced a few more back flips until I was sure he was gone, and then I run back over to Kakuzu. Wrapping my arms around his neck and jumping to tie my legs around his waist. I kissed his lips quickly. “I’ll have to make up for Hidan’s little interruption later,” I winked. “Eh, Kakuzu-chan?”

And with his face still a brilliant red he kissed my neck and whispered, “Yeah… you better.”